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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 8, Issue 8 (December 1, 1933)

Raddled Recipes

Raddled Recipes.

But enough of these Xmastical excursions and this geogastronomy. Let us consider Christmastication in all its phases and fizzes. Although the interior decoration is amply catered for at Xmas, it occurs to us that there has been little progress in the curriculum for many moons. We have the traditional truffles and the historical haberdashery for filling
“Figures can't lie.”

“Figures can't lie.”

page 11 the gaps in the conversation, but there remains room for a variation of the viands and for putting new life into old eats. The duff, for instance, might be modernised to comply with the ethics and antics of modern art and architecture. We offer the following recipe, which has been approved by the cubists, the rhomboys and the Flutterists:-

Christmas Duff (1933 model).-Take a bucket of paperhanger's paste, add plaster of Paris to taste, stiffen with stay-busks, tint with brick dust, stir in a quart of art union tickets and an I.O.U. for luck, stir with emotion, let the Alsatian worry it, drop it off the roof and leave out to dry. When set, label it “Persephone at the telephone” or “Isoseles wrestling with a rhomb,” and send it to the Annual Exhibition of Epileptic Art. Then set to work and make a real old-fashioned duff for eating purposes.

Also, greater use might be made of our own indigent fauna for pot-boiling and baking at Christmas. Take the tuatara-or two tuatara. It has been praised in song, viz; “The harp that once in tuatara's hall,” but it has never appeared on the programme as an accessory to the fact. Hence we are emboldened to offer the following recipe:

Tuatara a la Rubbergoods.-Take a tuatara, scoop out from neck to knee, soak in whisky until thoroughly blotto, then run it through the wringer and serve up the juice. The rest may be used for patching motor tyres. Should no tuatara be available, a gum boot will do as well, but a bottle is even better. The bottle should, however, be thoroughly drained before serving.

Treated in the above manner the tuatara has more kick than ever it had in its life, and is highly recommended as a cure for overeating. Unfortunately the moa has been reduced to a bony stricture and Christmas is no time for harbouring skeletons in the cupboard. Nevertheless one can't resist the thought of—, but never mind; perhaps it is all for the best if not for the “bust.”