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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 13, Issue 11 (January 1, 1939)



“It has been claimed that insanity is curable either by removing the sufferer from the scene of his suffering or removing the scene of his suffering from the sufferer. But in view of the fact that it has been proved so costly to roll up twenty acres of turf, fitted with bogeys, bunkers and nineteenth holes, and re-lay them on dairy farms, the question arises—is homicide justifiable when there is no hope for the victim? Some maintain that a shot on the first tee would settle, in the mind of many a wife, the vexed question as to whether or not she is a widow at law. There are some who object that Nero was spared and he only played the fiddle which requires no tee, no caddy, and not even a ‘spoon.'

“But, of course, the tea-caddy was not the national weapon of the Romans. They favoured the hemlock-cup for giving visitors the hint. Tea was originally adopted by the tea-totalarian states of Europe for curing skins: hence the word tannin. Tea is now known as ‘The Cup that Cheers'; but there are many who maintain that the cheers are not hearty enough. Hence brewing, which is rife in Europe and newspaper headlines. Without something continually brewing newspapers would have to publish news and this would put them out of business. They must always discover something brewing—a storm or a crisis or a ‘coup.’ ‘Coups’ are particularly important because the makers of ‘coups’ are coopers and coopers make barrels in which beer is wrapped. It is unlikely that coopers will ever be out of employment. This prompts the question, ‘Is Employment Work?’ Is barrel-making ‘toil’ or ‘a gesture of love and goodwill?’ If work is the white man's burden, is beer a burden?
“You Stole My Heart Away”

You Stole My Heart Away

As an experienced friend of mine says, ‘not if you can carry it.'

“And so we return to golf—though I don't know why. The only question remaining is ‘are men too old to play golf at sixty?’ The answer must be that if they don't know any better at sixty, they may as well go on playing golf.”

You get the idea? It's as easy as tearing up bills. And now—