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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 14, Issue 4 (July 1, 1939)

Spectacles for Blind Faith

Spectacles for Blind Faith.

If only they had known the truth what a lot of unnecessary sacrifice and faithfulness they might have saved themselves! A diet of raw greens and an injection of anti-sentiment serum, or even a slight operation on the sympathetic page 51 gland might have removed all danger of a long and happy married life. To-day Romance is a curable malady—emotional influenza or psychological sciatica. So …

Young fellow, don't swallow this tosh
Concerning Love's languor—it's bosh!
If you feel all Byronic
Go, order a tonic,
Or else you'll be “for it”—b'gosh!
This thing of which poets make “hooey”
And song-writers come over “gooey”
Is faulty ignition
Or some such condition
Which makes the brain gibbous and gluey.
Young fellow, take heed of advice
Or else pay the ultimate price,
Of blood pressure horrid
Mentality torrid
Which leads to confetti or rice.
Young lady, give Romance a bye,
This spiritual love's all my eye,
What you need is a diet
Or potion—go, try it!
And soon you'll be normally spry.
This fever called love's out of date
Soon doctors will have a new plate
Announcing to all
Who have heard Cupid's call,
“Love cured without pain while you wait.”