Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Students' Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 12 June 11, 1968
Letters To The Editor
Letters To The Editor
Excelsius in absurdium Deo
A Letter to the Editor of Salient.
In which the Bees buzz hard and Owl fight a Hcffalump, and are charged with heresy.
Dear Owen—The vast, profound and deeply moving controversy waged betwixt one who has meandered down the dark lanes far from the holy norm of your grand establishment, one, only unmentionable as J — "Iscariot" M—, and our formerly honoured partner in pilgrimages, Sir Johannes Sebastianus "Overgod, (if one mayest stoop to such doggerel) Hales, FOP, RC, PD, EC and TF, has resurrected from the depths of darkness unto the flowerbestrewn paths of enlightenment, a schism of unparalled magnitude within the ranks of the most blessed and revered members of our usually winnieing faction, to wit, the pooH cluB, dividing the true believers from the damned and unrepentant sinners.
Ah! A god that falls .o carolling the words of mathematics is half-way down the abyss, but the saviour, the excellence of whose public achievements have, even in the most propitious of lights, been, at the best, debateable, can never become a repository of trust amongst his kinsfolk. No Sirrah! I will not acquiesce to such an offensive display of public relations.
So, I, the undersigned, being eminently capable of such constitutional measures, hereby beg to notify the intention of calling a Special General Meeting of the aforementioned cluB to consider a vote of no confidence in any powers of the thriceaforementioned being.
Yours, in absolute sincerity of Heart
Treasurer, pooH cluB.
P.S. When this becomes too hot politically, see Denis.
These notes on the above letter were suplied by John Hales.
1. When I first glanced at the heading I was impressed only by the bad grammar. However if rhe phrase "buzz hard" is taken as one of the subjects, we have a strong reference to the recent vagaries of the Labour Party, where "Buzzard" Blizard and "Owl" Gager dared challenge the power of the vast head of our bottomless political pit.
2. Hcffalump—refers to this odd deity, lost on a dark night at the top of the forest.
3. Dear Owen—yet another obvious allusion.
4. Holy) Norm—see 2 above.
5. Grand Establishment—a former left-wing clique, devoted to tea drinking; the plaeing of Norm at the head is a cynical reflection on the mighty.
6. Only unmentionable as— typical Arnold joke.
7. J ? "Iseariot" M? presumably refers to a certain James Mitchell who tried to wring our everlasting saviour's gullet.
8. Formerly—probably puns with "formally".
9.Overgod— the opposite of "underdog", hence pun.
10. FOP, RC, PD, EC and TF —presumably Fount of Praise, Radical Correspondent, Penny Dropper, Economic Community and Testes Felicltatturs, although sometimes interpreted as Friend of Piglet, Rabbit's Companion, Pole Discoverer, Eyore's Comforter and Tail Finder. I deny all charges
11. Winnieing—the pooH
12. To wit—see title.
13. pooh cluB—viz. Labour Party, C.E., Exec etc.
14. The words of mathematicians—Viz. Arnold, or, more likely Lewis Carroll, hence pun.
15. Saviour—me? or Mitchell? or Owen? or Carroll? or Norm? or Me? or Arnold? or Owen?or Harrison? or Blizard? or Owen? Of Norm?
16. Even in the?, the best—typical Arnold.
17. No Sirrah!?obviously refers to Owen, but read backwards.
18. Being eminently capable— Arnold had to brag somewhere.
19. Thriceaforementioned being—depends on interpretation of 1st letter—most probably Owen or God or Norm or Arnold or Mitchell.
20. Denis—refers to a proposed takeover bid by Denis Phelps of the political editorship, as soon as the proposed takeover bid by Owen Gager of the editorship of Salient comes to fruition.
SIR—The degeneration of your so-called political features section into a petty juvenile schoolboy slanging match somewhat distresses me. Your correspondents over the last two isues, maybe with the exception of Tony Haas, have resorted to a level unbecoming "of a student newspaper, of for that matter, any newspaper.
Students, in their attitudes should try and maintain some ideals in politics, be objective in their criticism and try, as far as possible, to keep away from personal attacks.
Might I suggest that if this section cannot be lifted out of the-gutter, you drop it, as in its present form it reflects no credit on you or your paper.