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Salient. Official Newspaper of the Victoria University of Wellington Students Assn. Volume 40, No. 16. July 11 1977

Concerning the Residents of Weir House

page 16

Concerning the Residents of Weir House.

Dear Sir

Firstly, I wish to express my deepest regret that his brain hurts, and to propose a provisional diagnosis ie. His one brain cell is probably lonely.

Secondly, although I agree with his statements concerning the 'Chinder-coated hallways (although most of us endeavour to reach at least a lavatory lid or a clogged handbasin) and the 'Cistern in the Sky". I think it necessary to elucidate on some of his alluded 'facts'. Namely,

1.)The proportion of wankers, cretins and perverts residing in Weir House is decidely less than in any other hostel, like for instance, or specifically, Victoria House.
2.)With regard to the Mental Health Act 1969, forthcoming, nor nave the two (2) required medical examinations been enacted. Also, the Mental Health Amendment Act 1972 forms an integral component of the issue, in that certain members of the Police Force are of the opinion that the adoption of the procedure described in Section 35, Subsection (2) would expose them to hardhsip and danger.
3.)'Nominal years at this crystal University' indicates Mr Condom's apathy, if no more, due to the definition of nominal being: 'existing in name only'.
4.)Judging from the female visotirs to Weir House, and what I have seen, syphillis and cauliflower ears are non-existent in the House, and as the previous correspondent obviously does not or cannot 'hold his beer', he has no right to insult on the basis of glandular or beer - produced abnormalities of the abdomen.
5.)As for the comment about crashing parties, bible classes and orgies, the residents are such charming, courteous young men that they get invited to every party, their Christian upbringings are conducive to a desire to join a bible class, and you cannot hold a real orgy unless you have a Weir House man present to demonstrate the correct [unclear: procdural] format.
6.)The 'Vivian Street Brothel' smell referred to is purely and simply the natural misk of exuding sunsuality.

Finally, after noticing Mr Condom's decidedly right-wing extremist, pyromaniacal, anti-abortionist and Oedipal tendencies, together with his over-developed ego (qv 'Literary Masterpiece'), I would recommend that he voluntarily commit himself under the Mental Health Act 1969, before he is forced to plead insanity when the inevitable civil suit of slander is directed to the judicial system.

Yours respectfully

TSM (Weir House)

Cat sleeping on the floor