The Spike or Victoria University College Review June 1926
Our Editor's Atrocities
Our Editor's Atrocities.
'Tis 11th June, and still we find the following words disfiguring a green baize notice board, placed by benevolent authorities in a prominent place in the College Hall:—page 57
Will all Past Graduates, Undergraduates and Under-Graduettes who have Married or Become Engaged Since the Publication of the Last Number of the "Spike," or who Intend to Marry or Become Engaged Before June 30th next, Please Notify the Editor in Order that the Personal Columns of the Forthcoming Issue may be as Complete as Possible.
Ye Gods and little fishes! What an impudence! One would think that the Editor of "Spike" were our maternal parent, our sweetheart, or our private detective agency, that we should be asked to confess to him all the sweetest and bitterest secrets of our innermost hearts.
And even then he puts his words in the most tactless, clumsy and ambiguous way. He doesn't even show as much tact as does the private detective, who is always considerate enough to broach the question with a, "Yes, sir! But—er, what—er——I mean, if you don't mind telling me who—er—is the young lady. I hope you don't mind—er—but it's necessary to know."
Clumsiness! Never before have I witnessed such clumsiness! He asks us who we've married before we've even become engaged. He asks us who we intend to many before he asks us to whom we intend to become engaged.
He puts the cart before the horse! Excuse the smile—I mean the marriage before the engagement. Who ever heard of getting engaged to your wife after you've married her—except in wordy conflict. Or, worse still, who ever heard of trying to break up a happy family by asking a married man who he intended to become engaged to!
And that's a great deal more publicity than you would get anywhere outside the "Spike," my dear C. E. de M.!
W.J.H. entertained us for a moment with his ingenious effort, but we resolutely throw it in: